So you are suspecting that the person you are dating has some serious issues or you wouldn’t be doing all this research. And the question that may be crossing your mind, but don’t want to believe, is: am I dating a psychopath, narcissist or someone who is just crazy ?
Before we continue, I recognize by just seeing or thinking these words, visions of of screaming scenes from shows like Criminal Minds or Bates Motel start popping up. But, the good news is that most psychopaths are not criminals or murderers, they just have a different way of thinking, living and viewing the world.
Though psychopaths are around only 1% of the population, having a better understanding of your partner and relationship (if by chance you do find yourself interacting with that 1%) could make all the difference in your life!
Being a psychopath does NOT make you a criminal. Though psychopathy does manifest on a large spectrum, a lot of symptoms of this mental disorder are a lack of empathy, lack of any feeling of remorse or guilt, disregard for social rules or standards, and antisocial personality disorder. What can result from this disorder is narcissism or narcissistic behavior, thus your scour of the internet. So here are some signs that you might be dating a psychopath (notice that they are very similar to that of a narcissist):
1. They shower you with flattery and idealization in the beginning.
2. They prey on your emotions through pity ploys and sympathy-evoking stories.
3. They are a pathological liar and always have excuses.
4. They have a thirst for your attention while withholding theirs.
5. They’re constantly trying to evoke feelings of jealousy, maybe even through love triangles.
The key difference between a narcissist and psychopathic narcissism is that psychopaths believe that what they do and how they think are completely normal. A husband may not think twice about the manipulative behavior he is enacting in his relationship, because to him, there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. Skipping out on a funeral or party to do something more fun may seem like a completely logical decision.
First off, if you feel like you are in an abusive or emotionally tolling relationship, do not hesitate in removing yourself from the situation and your partner! But if you feel on the fence and may not be convinced that your partner is a “full out” narcissist or psychopath, remember, psychopathy is a spectrum! Just because your partner may do some of the 5 things listed above doesn’t mean that you can’t have a conversation with them about things they may not realize they are doing, before making a final decision on your relationship. Psychopathic tendencies don’t always mean the end of a relationship, maybe just the beginning of a conversation! So when you think, Am I dating a psychopath, narcissist or someone who is just crazy, try to keep it all in perspective.