Being needy is one of the most common relationship killers, although most of us will all get needy once in a while. Am I too needy in my relationship 5 things to ask yourself. However, if that’s the normal state of your relationship, it’s time to make a change.
- Are you always available?
You should always have other people in your life that you spend time with. Your significant other should be someone you can rely on and share things with, but not the only person. It’s important to be independent in any relationship, where you both maintain your identity and give each other space.
Your partner wants to be part of your world, but not the center of your universe. If two people are glued together, it’s hard to maintain that attraction because you’ll get too familiar with the other person and sometimes there’ll be less desire. Successful relationships give each other a sense of security that allows each other to grow together and individually.
Tip: A good practice is to focus on your personal goals first, share it with your partner, lead your life in that direction and invite your partner to join you in the journey.
- Do you have a voice in your relationship?
For any long-term relationship, both partners need to have input in the decision making process. It’s good to get involved. But sometimes, when both people voice their opinions, conflicts can occur. Some people choose to say nothing and avoid disagreeing with the other person. This is extremely common in the beginning of a relationship. By doing that, some people think they are being nice. However, if your answer is always “whatever you want”, it may be good for a little while, but won’t last too long. It’s important to express your opinion and be confident. It also shows you are interested in the questions and not just pacifying the other person. You don’t need to agree with your partner 100% on everything. Sometimes, a little disagreement shows you are independent and confident, which can be quite charming.
Tip: Flip your roles sometime. Someone assertive and interesting is desirable. If you’re not usually the one who make decisions. Make sure you decide on something next time.
- Do You Communicate Too Much?
Often time, there’s one person in a relationship that’s always asking questions. It feels very special to get occasional thoughtful messages. But many people are asking “what are you doing” and “where you are at” way too often. I understand you want to show your partner that they are on your mind and sometimes, you may be lonely and don’t have a lot going on. But if you constantly demand more of your partner’s time and attention, that’s a red flag. Relationship should be relatively equal. If you want to talk with your partner and they don’t want the same thing, maybe it’s time for some adjustments. Don’t make the other person feel obligated to do anything with you or worse yet, feel that you are trying to control them. Make your partner feel like they choose to spend their time with you.
Tip: Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes, it’s good to create some space and give your partner an opportunity to miss you.
- Can you live your life without your partner?
Imagining breaking up with your significant other is not easy. But it shouldn’t feel like the end of everything. Having a clear expectation for your relationship is essential. To keep your relationship strong, both of you should be open about how you feel and set attainable expectations for each other. When you are in a relationship, you should still maintain contact with your friends and keep your own hobbies. It will help you establish a sense of self in a relationship. When you stop doing what you love to do on your own and that time is not filled with activities you enjoy doing with your partner, arguments will start.
Tip: Make sure you’re honest about your actions and motivations in a relationship. Understand what your partner enjoys and make sure you have a life outside of dating.
- Do you feel secure?
Do you have the tendency to check your partner’s phone? Ask who are they texting? Do you get jealous easily? If you are doing any of these things, it may mean you do not feel secure in your relationship. We have all experienced jealousy before. It’s normal. The important thing is to identify the emotions you are experiencing and do not allow your emotions to guide your behavior. Many people feel they are not perfect. They think they are not good looking enough or not fit enough. They feel insecure about their body image. A healthy relationship with others starts with a healthy relationship with yourself. Love yourself first and be comfortable in your own skin is the first step.
Tip: Give yourself validation first and do things that will make you happy. If you constantly seek affirmation from your partner, you will be disappointed. Love yourself and become the best version of yourself, then you’ll attract great people.
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